Top 10 Internet Predictions for 2011

Ah 2010, what a year. We had that iPad thingee that proved quite popular and a whistleblowing website that became extremely famous even though only U.S. government agencies, newspapers and some people in caves in Pakistan would have visited it.

Actually I don’t feel qualified to talk much about 2010 as I spent way too much of it on my Xbox 360 when in previous years I would have been writing on here. In my defense though, there were some terrific games released.

Still with a resolution for somewhat more insightful journalism over this 12 months, what better way to start than with another round of predictions that proved so accurate in 2010. Well I assume they were, who knows, I’ve been too busy playing on my Xbox.

Anyway, without further ado, and in absolutely no order of probability I present my Top 10 Internet Predictions for 2011.

  1. With the BBC blowing all of its money on the Royal Wedding, the Queens usual Christmas Day broadcast has to be released on Twitter instead.
  2. The porn industry adapts 3D technology to the internet. When male porn stars turn around people will be seen to duck.
  3. Hostilities between North and South Korea reach crisis point when the South Korean P.M. de-friends Kim Jon-il on Facebook.
  4. Wikileaks founder Julian Assange miscalculates badly by creating a sister site called Wookieleaks aimed at Star Wars. All the computer geeks who supported him previously now crash his servers.
  5. When the E.U Monetary System threatens to collapse only Google has the money for a bailout. Not ones to miss a trick they place Adwords on Euro banknotes.
  6. ‘Black Monday’, the busiest online shopping day before Christmas will be attacked by the PC brigade for perceived racist overtones.  Is renamed to the more appropriate (In the) ‘Red Monday’.
  7. You think Apple place their computers in lots of TV programs now, once product placement laws in the UK are relaxed on Feb 28th they’ll show up in a badgers holt in Springwatch.
  8. The price comparison site war turns dirty as thousands of specially trained ‘attack’ Meerkats are released in the Go Compare offices.
  9. As .com addresses become exhausted new top level domain names are tested for specific markets. Cricket teams get .ball, printer firms get .matrix, EastEnder fan sites get .cotton and morse code sites get .dotdot
  10. The term ‘cloud computing’ will become the internet buzz phrase in 2011 and still nobody, absolutely nobody, will know what it means.

Oh yeah, that last one, that one will happen.

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